Scars
by Jagger3
Summary: After the betral of Tousen, Gin, and Aizen; three vice-captains are left shattered beyond repair. But only one goes to his life long friend for help, but can Hisagi face the acual truth? Warnings; male drama and yaoi
1. Chapter 1

Renji hurried down the hall from his room clutching the note Hisagi in his fist. He had found it under his pillow this morning. It has asked him one thing; _Help Me. _

Renji picked up his pace until he was sprinting towards Hisagi's room. What could possibly be wrong? The 6th division vice-captain ran faster, wondering if it had to do with Aizen's betrayal. Hisagi had accepted it without coming undone like Izuru and Momo, Renji wondered if he had finally cracked…

The red head came to the 9th division barracks and knocked. The door opened immediately and a flustered looking soul reaper waved Renji through, "Hisagi-san is in his room, you better hurry!"

Exchanging a startled look with the rumpled soul reaper Renji flash stepped to Hisagi's room. "H-Hisagi?"

CRASH!

Renji jumped back as an unidentified flying object of Hisagi's wrath (UFOHW) smashed into the door. "GO AWAY!"

"Hisagi! It's Renji! Please let me in!" Renji yelled.

Silence, and then the door opened slowly revealing a pale man with black circles under his eyes. Hisagi. "R-Renji?"

"Yeah, can I come in, please?"

Hisagi nodded and opened the door, once Renji was in he slammed it shut and sat down on his bed. "Thanks for coming…."

Renji nodded and looked at the room, it was a disaster. Like the famous mom saying of 'it looks like something blew up in here!' it really looked like Hisagi had activated a cero just minutes ago.

Hisagi gave a twisted grin, making his scars seem lopsided. "Oops."

Renji looked at him in alarm. "Oops? That's my line when I spill the captain's tea! You should be giving me an explanation!"

Hisagi shrugged "I needed to remodel…"

The room was in shreds. Scraps of paper littered the floor, along with glass from the broken window. Hisagi's bed had been thrown to pieces and the mattress was sticking out from the bathroom door. Clothes were strewn everywhere and Hisagi himself was only wearing a pair of jeans Rangiku had gotten him for his birthday.

"Hisagi….." Renji whispered, shocked. "Hisagi what happened? What's wrong?"

The scared vice-captain shrugged again. "Dunno…"

Renji raised a tattooed eyebrow. "Dunno? You mean this just magically happened!"

Hisagi shrugged for a third time, this time accompanied with a pathetic sort of smile.

Renji grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the door, "Come on, were going outside."

The red head dragged the limp man out of division 9, ignoring the looks he was getting. "Little help here, Hisagi."

Hisagi straightened up and began walking along with Renji, tripping every few steps of so. Finally, after about 14 trips, Renji had enough. "Stop being so damn pathetic!" He snarled, yanking Hisagi's arm, making him stumble. 'What?' Renji thought and tugged on him a little, sending Hisagi sprawling, "Whoa! Jeez, have you been eating!" Renji helped Hisagi to his feet and half dragged him to the woods bordering the Rukon district.

"No."

"What?" Renji asked, distracted.

"No, I haven't eaten." Hisagi said, in a hollow voice.

Renji sat him down on a fallen tree and settled next to him. "Why?"

Hisagi frowned, "I just can't…I end up barfing it back up…"

Renji grimaced. "Charming, have you been sleeping?"

The dark haired man gave him a look.

"Didn't think so." Renji muttered. "You want to talk?"

Hisagi shrugged.

"Stop shrugging! That's got to be the 8th time you shrugged!" Renji complained.

"4th time, actually." Hisagi replied, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Renji, what was it like when Rukia was about to be executed, before you tried to rescue her?"

Renji sighed and leaned back, "Terrible, to be truthful. She's a great friend of mine—I couldn't just watch her die. But I had a duty. Duty to my squad and a duty to my captain. In the end you know what I choose. And it was the right thing. But before I did that…it felt like I was being ripped apart. It hurt."

Hisagi nodded, "How did you know what to chose?"

Renji grinned at him, "I did what I thought was right!"

Hisagi sighed and shook his head, "No, I mean how you chose between duty to your squad and captain to duty towards your friend?"

The red head thought about it for a bit, "Well, guess I didn't really need to choose, I knew all along."

Hisagi gazed off into the distance, lost in thought.

"Hisagi, do you wish you had gone after Tousen-Taichou?" Renji asked, blunt as always.

Hisagi flinched and crossed his arms, "Yes. No."

Renji raised his eyebrows, stretching his tattoos. "Which is it?"

"I don't know, I want to know why he did this…I need to know."

Renji watched him and sighed, "So you don't wish you had gone after him?"

"Not really, I probably would have been killed immediately anyway…" Hisagi muttered.

Renji put his arm around Hisagi, "Don't dwell on it; it's bad for your health."

Hisagi snorted but a small laugh escaped his lips. "Like I need my health to plummet even more."

A small stretch of comfortable silence followed, Hisagi glanced at Renji and watched the sun shine off his red hair. 'Wow, I wonder if Renji's hair is soft…?' Hisagi's eyes widened 'D-did I just wonder if Renji's hair was SOFT!'

Renji watched Hisagi's eyes widened and a blush smear across his face, "You ok, Hisagi?"

"F-fine!"

"Like the 'not actually fine' kinda fine?" Renji snickered.

Hisagi chuckled, "No, I feel better—thanks Renji."

Renji laughed and glanced at his watch "OH SHIT!"

"What!" Hisagi exclaimed.

"I'm late! Taichou needed me to do something—! AGH HE'S GONNA KILL ME!" The red head flustered, jumping up and looking around wildly like Byakuya was about to jump out from behind a tree and kill him then and there.

"Woah, Renji, calm down, I'm sure Kuchiki-Taichou will understand!" Hisagi said, trying to calm the panicky red head.

"LATE!" Renji howled, bolting for the 6th division barracks.

Hisagi laughed as Renji ran, "Wow, he's fast!" He leaned back with a chuckle and felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "Well, Renji did help anyway." Hisagi smiled and felt his vision cloud over, "Helped…" he murmured.

(Much later)

Renji walked out of Byakuya's office with his head attached. "Jeez…" Byakuya had given him an hour long lecture about being late, and then launched right into what he needed Renji to do without waiting for Renji to properly apologize. "Oh well…"

Renji walked towards the woods where he had left Hisagi and cocked his head, "Why is his spiritual pressure still there…?" Renji jogged towards the fallen tree and saw a leg draped over it, "Hisagi!" Renji reached the tree and looked at the 9th division vice-captain.

Hisagi had fallen asleep and drifted slightly so that his head was on a branch and his body was on the trunk. His mouth was open and he looked so peaceful that Renji felt a small smile play around the corners of his mouth. "Look at that bastard, passing out here where he could catch cold…" Renji lightly shook Hisagi's shoulder, "Come on, wake up."

Hisagi grumbled something and went deeper into sleep.

"Hey! Wake up!" Renji said, shaking him a little.

Nothing.

"Hisagi? Wake up!" Renji called.

Nothing.

"Jeez! Now you're going to freeze out here and I'm the one who has to suffer because I couldn't wake your dead ass up to get you inside!"

Renji glared at Hisagi for a second then laughed, "Well, I can't blame you!"

Hisagi tossed his head a little.

The 6th division vice-captain caught himself looking at Hisagi's lips. Ripe and juicy, like a fresh fruit just waiting for someone to take a bite…"

Renji's eyes traveled to the 69 on the man's cheek, "Hmm, I still wonder what that means…" 'Besides the obvious.' Renji's mind replied snidely.

Growling, Renji smacked himself in the forehead, and then lectured himself about checking out his own friends. "God I'm a prev…"

"Why?" Hisagi asked, blinking awake.

"Ack!" Renji yelped, jumping a foot in the air.

Hisagi raised an eyebrow.

"Erm, how long were you awake?"

The dark haired man shrugged, "Why are you a perv?"

Renji grinned sheepishly. "Uh, no reason…."

Hisagi sat up and ruffled his hair, "Did I fall asleep?"

Glad of the change of subject, Renji nodded, "Yup, totally conked out. You needed it."

Hisagi scrunched his eyebrows together, making his scars look wrinkled, "Hmm, I guess I did…"

Renji's eyes followed the scars, "That's where the hollow got you, right?"

Hisagi flinched slightly, "Y-yeah."

The red head frowned slightly, "Do they still hurt?"

The 9th division vice-captain twitched and made a face, "Sort of…I still haven't been able to touch them…"

Renji sat down next to Hisagi and studied his scars; slowly he reached his hand out so it was a breath away from Hisagi's old wound.

Hisagi froze, his eyes wide, and staring ahead. He felt his heartbeat quicken and jump into his throat.

Renji didn't move, watching his friend tense up. "Hisagi….."

The man closed his eyes and hung his head, "I know. I'm weak." Hisagi slammed his fist down into the tree they were sitting on, smashing a splintering hole in the trunk. "I hate that…"

Renji put his arm around Hisagi, "Listen to me, Hisagi! You are not weak! You're just…..scared." The red head paused and remembered something Byakuya had once said to him; "When you get injured, no matter how good the medicine is, the only way you will completely heal is if you have the will to get better."

Hisagi clenched his teeth, trying not to cry.

The tattooed vice-captain smiled gently and hugged him tighter, wrapping both arms around him. "I know you have that kind of will power. You just need to use it."

The scared man rested his head in the crook of Renji's shoulder and shivered slightly, "Renji, please, touch my scars."

Renji's eyes widened and he lifted his hand to Hisagi's chin, titling his head away from him, baring the scars. The red head put his hand an inch away from his friends face and glanced at Hisagi.

He nodded, reassuring the red head, and took a deep breath.

Renji's hand slowly brushed against the marred skin, tracing the claw marks down to Hisagi's jaw.

Hisagi gasped slightly as Renji's hand caressed his face, feeling a wave of emotion flood through him.

The red head brushed against the scars lightly again, leaving a feather light touch tingling Hisagi's skin, then drew away. "You alright?"

Hisagi just nodded, trying to keep his mind together. "R-Renji…"

Renji looked at him and moved so that Hisagi was sitting in his lap. "Yeah…?" He leaned up so their noses where almost touching.

The scared man swallowed, trying to form words of appreciation, but could barley even breathe with Renji this close. "…"

Renji smiled slightly as a blush spread over Hisagi's face, leaning up he pressed his lips against Hisagi's lush ones. "Mmmmnn."

Hisagi blushed like crazy and his hands flew to Renji's shoulders and shoved him off, he then toppled backwards off his lap. "W-w-w-what was that!"

Renji grinned. "A kiss."

Hisagi's eyes bugged. "B-b-b-but—!"

Renji sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I just figured out something important."

"W-what's that?" Hisagi asked, scooting away on his butt.

Renji looked him in the eye, his brown eyes glistening slightly. "Hisagi, I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

Hisagi stormed back to his room and slammed the door. His hand flew to his mouth, still trembling slightly, and groaned "Fuck…."

He looked around his disaster of a room and felt his anger build. Hisagi began organizing and fixing everything just to give him something to do.

"Renji loves me…" Hisagi whispered again, for the millionth time, "But he can't! We are both vice-captains! We are both guys! AGH!"

The room was totally clean and the glass was gone, but Hisagi's heart was still shattered. His hand snuck up his face and rested next to his scars and remembered how delicately Renji and caressed them. "Noooooo….." Hisagi moaned, clutching his hair in his hands.

(In the forest)

Renji still sat there dumb struck. "He just….ran away." The red head whispered, "Just like that….he ran away…." Renji felt his eyes fill with tears. "Huh? Why am I crying…?" Renji leaned over and cried heart wrenching sobs into his arms, "Shit…I should have known….SHIT!"

The red head cried for about half an hour before he got it together, "Well, at least I got it out…" he mumbled, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted. But Hisagi's response had left a gaping hole where his heart used to be. "Ngh…."

Renji walked to the 6th division barracks and slumped past Byakuya's office.

"Abarai, please come here a minute." Byakuya said coolly.

Renji attempted to look alert as he entered his captain's office, "Yes Kuchiki-Taichou?"

Byakuya stared at him for what felt like a year then huffed, "Take the day off and fix whatever you broke."

Renji's eyes snapped open "T-Taichou! Are you feeling ok!"

Byakuya sighed agitated, "Do I need to repeat myself? Fix what you broke; and don't come back until you have." With that Byakuya shooed him out of his office with a flap of papers, "Hurry up and leave me, I have work to do."

Renji stumbled out of his captain's office stunned. "Maybe I should have Retsu-Taichou look at him?" He imagined the squad four captain's face for a moment, "Maybe not…" Renji walked down the wooded hall and frowned "Fix what's broken?" The hole in Renji's chest throbbed. He thought about Hisagi and winced, "I guess I owe him an apology….kissing him out of the blue was probably not the best idea…"

The red head trudged toward the 9th division barracks, wondering if they would even let him in. He arrived and tapped on the doors, a timid face of the soul reaper from last time peeped out, "A-Abarai-san! Um, I—I'm sorry but Hisagi-san has requested not to let you in…" Renji sighed, this was worse than he thought, "Look, kid, I need to see Hisagi, it's urgent." The young soul reaper paused then nodded, letting Renji in, "Ok, but don't tell him I let you in!" Renji grinned and patted him on the head, "Thanks, kid!"

Renji ran to Hisagi's room and knocked, "Hisagi! It's me! I just want to talk to you!"

"…..talk." Hisagi mumbled, trying to stop ripping his hair out of his head.

Renji sighed and tapped the door, "May I come in?"

"No."

Renji flinched slightly and sighed, "I wanted to apologize, I'm sorry for scaring you, but I won't apologize for kissing you—I'm not sorry at all that I did that, I'm only sorry that you took it like you did."

Hisagi stared at the floor if his room then walked to the door. "I'm sorry too."

"Huh?" Renji exclaimed, shocked.

"I shouldn't have run away like that, you had the guts to spill how you felt about me and I didn't even bother to respond. That was below the belt. I'm so sorry, Renji…" Hisagi whispered.

Renji sighed and leaned against the wall next to the door, "Don't be sorry, I'm just glad I was able to tell you, you can just forget about it if you want."

Hisagi sat on the ground next to the door, "Renji….I don't think I can forget something like that so easily."

"Maybe if you avoid me, it'll go away…" Renji realized he was also talking about himself; that if he never saw Hisagi again maybe the hole would go away….?

Hisagi shook his head and leaned back against the wall "No Renji, that's not what I meant." He paused, and then closed his eyes. "I said you had guts for telling me about how you feel; I said that because I couldn't. I am weak, afraid of being hurt again, so I hid in my shell and couldn't even reply when you said you loved me." Hisagi's voice shook. "Renji, I like you too….and I'm so sorry."

Silence from outside.

"R-Renji?"

"Hisagi, I will never, ever, hurt you; I swear my life on that." Renji said, feeling the hole in his chest close. "Could you please open the door? I want to hug you."

Hisagi smiled slightly and reached up from where he was sitting to turn the knob, letting Renji in.

The red head walked in and closed the door, locking it. He then got down on his knees and pulled Hisagi into a tight embrace. "You're not weak, Hisagi. You're just scared, tell me your fears and I'll smash each and every one so that you won't be afraid."

Hisagi hugged Renji back fiercely, "T-thank you…" He looked up into Renji's shinning eyes and smiled lightly, "Shall we try again?"

Renji grinned and leaned down, pressing his lips against Hisagi's.

Hisagi reached up and locked his arms around Renji's neck, leaning up on his knees to get closer to the soft lips.

Renji twined his hand into Hisagi's hair, opening his mouth and snaking his tongue out to greet Hisagi's. "Mhhhph."

The 9th division vice-captain pressed up against the red head, pushing him back onto the floor. Falling on top of him, between his legs, Hisagi grinned shyly and tugged Renji's hair band out, letting the red trestles fall loose.

The tattooed man wrapped his arms around Hisagi and moaned into the kiss. "Mph…"

Hisagi reached down with one of his hands and tugged Renji's shirt off, staring at the tattoos and his muscles. "Woah…"

Renji grinned and flexed, glancing at Hisagi's jean clad legs, "Well? You just gonna let me get cold?"

Hisagi blushed and traced his hands down Renji's chest and sides; he then placed his hand on Renji's chest and smiled, "I hear your heart."

Renji smiled "It's yours."

Hisagi felt his own heart swell at those simple words and he leaned down, nipping Renji gently on the collar, Hisagi made is way down the tattooed man's body, tracing the tats with his tongue.

"Ahh!" Renji gasped as Hisagi's tongue traced lower and lower. Hisagi stopped at Renji's pants and moved back up to kiss his mouth.

Renji put his arm around Hisagi's waist and rolled them both over; Renji grinned at the surprise in Hisagi's eyes and nibbled his nipple. "Ngh!"

Hisagi panted as Renji moved lower, tugging at his jeans. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his throbbing erection.

Renji watched the bulge in Hisagi's pants grow, he palmed it, causing Hisagi to shudder and moan. "Nuuhhh." Grinning, Renji slipped Hisagi's pants down and rubbed the mound in the boxers, earning a loud moan. Renji shoved his own pants down and straddled Hisagi.

"W-what are you doing?" Hisagi panted.

"You'll see." With that Renji grinded harshly against Hisagi's erection, making both men moan.

"Ahhh—harder!" Hisagi panted.

Renji rubbed harder, hissing at the feeling coursing through him.

Hisagi groaned. "Mmhhhh…"

Renji yanked down Hisagi's boxers and chucked off his own. Leaning down he licked the tip of the pulsing member, already slick with pre-cum. He then slipped the rest of Hisagi's cock into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it.

"AH!" Hisagi gasped arching his back. White light washed through him and he groaned as Renji started sucking. "Nuh!"

Renji drew it out and held up three fingers to Hisagi's mouth.

Hisagi let them in and coated them in saliva. He felt a small fear build, was this going to hurt? He tried to calm down, Renji won't hurt me….

Renji watched fear creep into his lovers eyes, "You know what, you do me."

"W-what?" Hisagi stammered.

"I said I wouldn't let anything hurt you, so you do me." Renji took his fingers back and rolled over so that he was on his back and Hisagi was on top of him.

"You sure?" Hisagi asked."

"Yup, now hurry up—I need you." Renji purred, eyes lusting over.

Hisagi blushed slightly and gave him three fingers. When they were covered Hisagi pushed the first one in and wiggled it a little.

Renji quickly adjusted.

He inserted the second finger into Renji and began scissoring him, stretching him out. Once Renji had adjusted to him again he put the third finger in.

Renji wiggled around a bit then hissed as Hisagi's finger brushed against something that made him see white, "Ah, Hisagi….right there!" he howled.

Hisagi pulled his fingers out and slid himself inside.

"Unh…" Renji grunted, clenching his hands.

Hisagi waited for a bit then began thrusting in and out of Renji, moaning at the sensation.

Renji gasped and his breathing escalated as Hisagi hit his spot over and over again. "Nya-!" He lifted his hips, "Faster!"

Hisagi slammed into him, holding his hips and panting, "Ahhh!" He reached down and began pumping Renji's dick, feeling his climax approach.

Renji threw his head back and hissed at the double pleasure, "NGH!" He arched his legs toward his chest howling as Hisagi penetrated deeper and deeper. "H-HISAGI!" Renji howled, cumming in the 9th vice-captain's hand.

Hisagi shouted and released inside Renji, he then flopped down on Renji's hard chest and panted. "R-Renji…"

"Y-y-yeah?" Renji huffed, sweeping his hair out of his eyes.

Hisagi nestled his head into Renji's shoulder, "I never got to tell you something…"

"Hmm?" Renji hummed, feeling sleep approach.

"I love you."

Renji smiled warmly as his eyes closed, "I love you too, Hisagi."

They both drifted off to sleep happily in each other's arms.

Renji had fixed what had been broken.


End file.
